Meet the Blussians

What It’s Really Like To Survive The Death of Your Baby

Weird. That's really all I can muster. It's weird. Not a bad weird. Definitely not a good weird. Not weird. There's a hole within you that will never close. Sometimes it gets bigger and overwhelming. Sometimes it returns back to size. But it never closes. It never heals. It's just kinda...there. I lost Ethan seven years ago and I had Bear five years ago. I still feel someone, something is missing from
TTC

Too Many Hoze

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5ZEJQ2xLuE&w=560&h=315] Okay, that song has nothing to do with the blog whatsoever. But hey, the kid's flow is pretty sick. (Parental discretion...he may look like a kid but his lyrics sure ain't!) I'm not pregnant. How's that for an opening line? After a week and a battery of tests, not to mention I started to spot already, it's pretty official I'm not pregnant. I have to admit, I'm still debating if
Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Yoda

Be Alright

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPfhyfaJgGs&w=420&h=315]) What a difference a year makes. I'm typing this post with a semi-sleepy Yoda on my boob. I'm sure you wanted to know that but you can't deny I've been honest for this long so why hold back now? A year ago, I found out I was pregnant and I remember I had a flurry of emotions go through me. The biggest emotion was relief. We were trying for a
Cerclage, Ethan, Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss

My Saving Grace

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE1ED_9piMU&w=420&h=315] There is something innately unnatural about burying a child. Like it really goes against God's plan and all laws of nature. This Friday marks the second angelversary of Ethan going to heaven. I can vividly recall that entire day - going into labor at 2:30 in the morning, and fighting the labor the entire day until 5:30 that night when Ethan appeared on his own. It was then I learned
Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda

It’s Been Awhile

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2NGe9mLAEc&w=420&h=315] Let's see it's been about three weeks since I've last updated. Well, a lot has happened since then. Namely this: To fully tell the story, I have to backtrack a little so bear with me here. Saturday, November 9 Over the weekend, I saw my OB and had a special trip to Labor & Delivery (L&D) for a NST since my blood pressure was becoming alarmingly high, mix in with a little
Cerclage, Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda

Scream

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P4A1K4lXDo&w=420&h=315] This kid is stubborn. So it's been almost two weeks since my cerclage was removed and well, I'm still very much pregnant. It wasn't too bad except for when I suddenly fell sick. I didn't think it was a big deal but apparently my OB did. I saw him today and he checked me. The good news: Yoda is still locked and loaded. The bad news: He's not low enough
Pregnancy, Pregnancy Week by Week, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda

Future Baby Mama

For those wondering, Future Baby Mama is the title of a Prince song. I love Prince. Have you ever seen him perform in concert? Ah-mazing! You really need to go check him out sometime in this lifetime. It's Hump Day, Bump Day...let's goooooooooo!   How far along? 38 weeks, according to LMP. Weight gain/loss?  None. No weight gain at all entire pregnancy. Symptoms: A ton of Braxton-Hicks. A ton. They tend to occur at night
Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda

Rock the Casbah

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ9r8LMU9bQ&w=420&h=315] So much to do and so little time... Or maybe a lot of time....who knows at this point? I started researching babysitters/caretakers. Since I'm a writer, I plan to take a few weeks "off" to adjust to motherhood, but plan to be back in the swing of things come January. My situation is a bit different. Technically speaking I'm a SAHM (stay at-hom mom) but reality speaking, I'm not. I bring
Pregnancy, Pregnancy Week by Week, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss

I’m Lovin’ It – Yoda at Week 38*

Yep. Still preggo. Just waiting for Yoda bear to choose his birthdate.  As I wait, let's check to see how he's doing. According to babygaga.com: Stuck in a holding pattern The final fat details are being rounded off before your rocket-baby's big launch onto planet earth and into your arms. For one, your adorable poop-factory's meconium stockpile is growing (are you ready for that historical first tarry black poo?) as their baby fat
Cerclage, Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda

Superwoman

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AphKUK8twg&w=420&h=315] I'm sure I used that title before. Today I had my cerclage removed. It was an eventful day. Let's count the struggles... My MFM's office usually calls the day before an appointment to confirm. I didn't get receive a call yesterday but I didn't pay too much attention to it and just thought it was an oversight. Heh. Note to everyone - if a doctor's office usually calls to remind you