Mushrooms & Roses

Baby fever is starting to catch up with me.

A few months ago, I had a pregnancy scare. Hmm…I don’t think I actually like calling it a scare. I know I wasn’t ready at the time and I was a bit freaked out. Amazing how a few months can really make a difference.

It’s not even a feeling of missing being pregnant or seeing all of the cute onesies out there. Hell, even maternity fashion has improved a lot from two years ago. I sincerely want another baby.

I guess I never really considered Bear to be my only living child. I’m sure had Ethan lived, my feelings towards another rainbow baby now might be a little different. I might be like, ‘Nah, two is enough.’ Or I might have been, ‘Hmm…I want another.’

What I do know for certain is I need a baby in me by the end of the year. Preferably before my October birthday.

Time isn’t on my side so I need to get on the ball and pretty soon. Send me a lot of prayers, baby dust, juju, and whatever else you have.

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Be Alright

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What a difference a year makes.

I’m typing this post with a semi-sleepy Yoda on my boob. I’m sure you wanted to know that but you can’t deny I’ve been honest for this long so why hold back now?

A year ago, I found out I was pregnant and I remember I had a flurry of emotions go through me. The biggest emotion was relief. We were trying for a year. We both went through a battery of testing, all of them turned out normal. We were mentally exhausted (not to mention, physically) and we decided to take a break for a few months and start up again with medical intervention. I was researching IUI treatments at the time.

And then it happened. I remember it being a Thursday evening and I suddenly felt sick. I took a test and it was a pink dye one but it was also pretty faint.

test1

I showed M. the test and we pretty much had the same reaction – let’s not get our hopes up.

I retested the following Friday and the test was no better.

test2

 

We decided since my period was going to come by Monday morning, we’ll test then. I remember I could barely sleep the night before because I was so nervous. I was either pregnant or I was going to delay trying again for a while. It was pretty much black and white.

And then this happened…

test3

 

My only reaction was running into the other bathroom where my husband was, jumping up and down, yelling, ‘We did it! We did it!’

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My first bump pic at 4 weeks. All bloat and fat there. But damn, I look good.

Crazy. A year ago I found out I was pregnant and started this blog shortly afterward. A year later, I have this to show for:

bump2
This was taken sometime last week.

Angel of Mine

I’m butt hurt.

No, not butt-hurt like someone insulted me but I’m literally butt hurt. The one thing a lot of these pregnancy blogs and fellow mommies forget to tell me that when you breast-feed in the sitting up position, after a while, your butt hurts. And it’s quite painful.

So I’ve been trying the laying down position. I don’t particularly like that one but Yoda seems to dig it so we do it often. The only caveat (and a big one) is that we both fall asleep. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not against co-sleeping and if it works for a mother, go for it. It’s not for me. I have this innate fear of rolling over on Yoda or him falling out of bed. Yet, he loves to sleep with me. I need to break him out of this habit pronto.

It’s been a long minute since I’ve blogged. Each time I want to, I find it to be tricky. Yoda requires a lot of attention and care and there have been days where he’s been particularly fussy. For example, one day recently, he was up for 16 hours. Yeah, 16 hours. By the time M came home, we both were completely exhausted and blogging was the last thing on my mind.

Still, blogging is a nice hobby in addition to my writing career. I guess that’s why I don’t consider myself to be a typical SAHM (stay at-home mom). I have my career, I work from home, contribute more to the household other than being a wife and mother, and it’s something I love. I’m supposed to be releasing another book soon and I’m wondering how that’s going to happen.

Motherhood is a lovely thing. Yoda and I are still in that trial and error phase and I think we’ll be in that phase for a while, like forever. I’m still exclusively breastfeeding and whenever I’m not available, M feeds him by the bottle. I learned that I prefer Huggies diapers and wipes. I did try Pampers and ordered a ton of them but I don’t know…I kinda dig the Huggies brand, which is funny because a lot of mothers of boys don’t like Huggies because they leak. Eventually I hope to move Yoda to cloth diapers to save money.

I had my last follow-up appointment with my OB recently. It was bittersweet. We both gotten used to each other over the course of two years, it’s a little crazy that we won’t be seeing each other for a while. Hence, a while. M and I decided we’re going to start trying again this year; it’s just a matter of when. We want our kids close in age.

I learned that each pregnancy will have a cerclage which I expected. I also learned that each pregnancy will also end in a C-section. During my delivery with Bo, my OB pulled out a grapefruit-sized fibroid, which surprised all of us. He’s not sure if that was the reason why Yoda wasn’t descending but he’s pretty certain it played a factor. Rather than take a risk of doing a VBAC (vaginal birth after caserean), my OB would rather do a repeat C-section. Believe it or not, I’m not fighting it. My only goal of giving birth is an alive and healthy baby; I really don’t care what method it takes place.

Anyhoo, I’ve been cleared to drive, work out and have sex – not necessarily in that order. I really can’t wait to start doing yoga again. It’s such a stress relief. Plus, I need to tone up my little gut. But I look relatively smokin’ overall.

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I leave this post with an updated photo of Yoda. He received his first Christmas gift from one of my fellow April 2012 moms. (For those who don’t know the significance, my angel Ethan was originally going to be born in April 2012 and I’ve kept in contact with many of the women from that birth month club.)

blussianmom

Yoda’s seven weeks old now! Crazy ridiculous. Where has the time gone?

I’m Lovin’ It – Yoda at Week 37*

Yes, I’m still preggo. I can still see my feet. I can still move reasonably. But it’s still a struggle to get out of bed or turning over. If I stretch my legs, I’m risking a leg cramp and I’ve had a few already.

But the end is near. Praise Jesus.

Let’s check to see how Yoda bear is doing…according to babygaga.com:

If you haven’t yet delivered, you’ve reached the calm before the storm. You’re probably monitoring your body for those first Early Labor symptoms and wondering what you’ve forgotten.

Your smooshed-up baby is weighing in at around 6.3 lbs and 19 inches (with boys somewhat heavier and longer than girls).

As far as their internal organs go, your adorable poop and blood factory has reached “term” – a medical term that means your sweet little bun is birth-ready and labor is welcome and normal at this point.

Despite being physically ready to land on planet Earth, your baby’s immune system is quite weak and will continue to be that way for their first years of life.

Thankfully, your breast milk (aka “boob medicine”) protects your child via protective antibodies that are present in your breast milk.

And how’s mom doing?

If you haven’t yet evicted your wee lad or lassie from their first home, you’re sitting here: big, ready and wondering when you’re going to be in “real labor” – aka Active Labor.

Well, relax, because your womb-loving baby knows what they’re doing. They’re not quite done bakin’, mama!

Still, if you want to get things moving down there, stay upright and active (aka go for a brisk walk, with stairs – if possible) as your baby’s skull will be pressing on your cervix, thus, being upright and active encourages cervical thinning (a process called “effacement”) – which accompanies Active Labor as your cervix begins to dilate open.

If you’re not in labor already, now’s a good time to prep everything: double check you’ve all your newborn gear, go over your birth plan and clear your schedule conflicts and thin out the socially-demanding dates, it’s time to get ready for the finish line!

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And what size is Yoda this week?

wintermelon

He’s the size of a winter melon! I say that’s pretty accurate. 🙂

I’m Lovin’ It – Yoda at Week 36*

Today, I’m officially nine months pregnant, according to LMP, though Yoda is still measuring ahead. I’ll get my cerclage removed next Tuesday and it’s pretty much a guessing game on when I’ll go into labor. Both doctors are estimating he’ll be born within the first week of November but I’m still not certain I’ll be pregnant come Halloween. We shall see!

According to babygaga.com:

Almost done, mommy!

The countdown to your sweet lil’ womb hi-jacker’s eviction is closing in!

In fetal developments: most of the bones (soft skull aside) in their little body are now completely hardened, providing a solid structure from which they can now make their grand debut into the world.

In physical fitness news: your mini-champ’s muscle tone is improving, and you’ll be impressed by their steel-like Ulnar grasp (a newborn reflex that occurs if you lay your finger in their palm).

Your baby’s nearly done baking!

And how’s mom doing?

Hey mama, are you big, warm, pee-tastic, tired, and feeling just a bit anxious?

Welcome to week 36!

To assuage your worries here are a few clear indications of when you’re going into real labor:

  • Runny loose stools/diarrhea
  • Loss of mucous plug aka “bloody show”
  • Contractions are consistent and grow in intensity
  • Your water breaks

You can have diarrhea without going into labor and your water probably won’t break. If it does break, it’ll feel like a sudden gush of unexpected pee just ran down your leg.

Ain’t pregnancy just the classiest thing ever?

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I have been ‘going’ a lot more. I think yesterday I must’ve set a new record for the number of times I had to pee. Turning over in bed is starting to become an Olympic sport.

And what size is Yoda this week?

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Yoda is supposedly the size of a honeydew melon but he’s bigger than that. Does a small watermelon count instead?