Angel of Mine

I’m butt hurt.

No, not butt-hurt like someone insulted me but I’m literally butt hurt. The one thing a lot of these pregnancy blogs and fellow mommies forget to tell me that when you breast-feed in the sitting up position, after a while, your butt hurts. And it’s quite painful.

So I’ve been trying the laying down position. I don’t particularly like that one but Yoda seems to dig it so we do it often. The only caveat (and a big one) is that we both fall asleep. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not against co-sleeping and if it works for a mother, go for it. It’s not for me. I have this innate fear of rolling over on Yoda or him falling out of bed. Yet, he loves to sleep with me. I need to break him out of this habit pronto.

It’s been a long minute since I’ve blogged. Each time I want to, I find it to be tricky. Yoda requires a lot of attention and care and there have been days where he’s been particularly fussy. For example, one day recently, he was up for 16 hours. Yeah, 16 hours. By the time M came home, we both were completely exhausted and blogging was the last thing on my mind.

Still, blogging is a nice hobby in addition to my writing career. I guess that’s why I don’t consider myself to be a typical SAHM (stay at-home mom). I have my career, I work from home, contribute more to the household other than being a wife and mother, and it’s something I love. I’m supposed to be releasing another book soon and I’m wondering how that’s going to happen.

Motherhood is a lovely thing. Yoda and I are still in that trial and error phase and I think we’ll be in that phase for a while, like forever. I’m still exclusively breastfeeding and whenever I’m not available, M feeds him by the bottle. I learned that I prefer Huggies diapers and wipes. I did try Pampers and ordered a ton of them but I don’t know…I kinda dig the Huggies brand, which is funny because a lot of mothers of boys don’t like Huggies because they leak. Eventually I hope to move Yoda to cloth diapers to save money.

I had my last follow-up appointment with my OB recently. It was bittersweet. We both gotten used to each other over the course of two years, it’s a little crazy that we won’t be seeing each other for a while. Hence, a while. M and I decided we’re going to start trying again this year; it’s just a matter of when. We want our kids close in age.

I learned that each pregnancy will have a cerclage which I expected. I also learned that each pregnancy will also end in a C-section. During my delivery with Bo, my OB pulled out a grapefruit-sized fibroid, which surprised all of us. He’s not sure if that was the reason why Yoda wasn’t descending but he’s pretty certain it played a factor. Rather than take a risk of doing a VBAC (vaginal birth after caserean), my OB would rather do a repeat C-section. Believe it or not, I’m not fighting it. My only goal of giving birth is an alive and healthy baby; I really don’t care what method it takes place.

Anyhoo, I’ve been cleared to drive, work out and have sex – not necessarily in that order. I really can’t wait to start doing yoga again. It’s such a stress relief. Plus, I need to tone up my little gut. But I look relatively smokin’ overall.

photo (1)

I leave this post with an updated photo of Yoda. He received his first Christmas gift from one of my fellow April 2012 moms. (For those who don’t know the significance, my angel Ethan was originally going to be born in April 2012 and I’ve kept in contact with many of the women from that birth month club.)

blussianmom

Yoda’s seven weeks old now! Crazy ridiculous. Where has the time gone?

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