Ethan

Doing Just Fine

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Koz393gAwjQ&w=560&h=315] First grandchild. Seventh grandchild. First son. That is what I keep hearing since Bo's birth. Now, I do refer to Bo as my first son just because I don't want to keep explaining Ethan, especially to strangers. Unless you're a bereaved parent, you won't be able to understand the feelings of sympathy pity you get. They mouth a silent, 'I'm so sorry' and then you get "the treatment." The handling of your poor
Ethan

For Ethan

  I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you forever. I can't wait until we'll reunite in heaven. Until then, please keep watching over me, your Daddy, and your little brother, Bo.
Cerclage, Ethan, Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss

My Saving Grace

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE1ED_9piMU&w=420&h=315] There is something innately unnatural about burying a child. Like it really goes against God's plan and all laws of nature. This Friday marks the second angelversary of Ethan going to heaven. I can vividly recall that entire day - going into labor at 2:30 in the morning, and fighting the labor the entire day until 5:30 that night when Ethan appeared on his own. It was then I learned
Ethan

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness

Normally I would have songs as blog posts titles but today is just too important. Tonight, as I've done for the last two years, I'll light a candle in honor of my angels, jellybean (4w6d loss) and Ethan (22w2d loss).     It saddens me how society is so accepting to talk about other forms of loss such as cancer, but no one wants to talk about pregnancy loss. Many women have
Ethan, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda

Why

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG7I4oniOyA&w=560&h=315] Today is my birthday. Two years ago, I was pregnant on my birthday and actually announced it the same day. It was easier to have people tell me Happy Birthday and wish me congratulations at the same time. Though I did announce to my Facebook friends  and family a few weeks ago I was expecting and debuted a few of our maternity photos, I've been pretty quiet on Facebook.
Ethan, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda

Spendin’ Money

http://youtu.be/0WUmlGiHHt4 This post is a continuation of some of the baby shower swag Yoda has received. It was quite a bit! Let's check it out: After doing much research, I couldn't decide which breastfeeding pillow I wanted - the Boppy or MyBrestFriend. I decided to go with the Boppy because a lot of my Mommy friends had it and highly recommended it. Unfortunately, I ended up receiving two Boppy pillows (the
Ethan, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Week by Week, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda

Future Baby Mama

This week's FBM post is another special one. It's a sneak peek from the maternity photo shoot. I'm really anxious to see the rest of the pictures. Our photographer (a high-school/longtime friend of mine) took 260 pics so I really can't wait to see which ones made the final cut!   This picture is pretty emotional for a number of reasons. You may have noticed our Molly Bear, Ethan, is centered
Ethan, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Preparing for Yoda

Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)

http://youtu.be/Lt3IOdDE5iA This is a letter I wrote to my son after the baby shower last Sunday.  Dear Yoda, Today was a big day. We had a baby shower in your honor. I finally revealed that I'm pregnant with you and received a lot of support and overwhelming love. I spoke of your brother and you. I decided that I really liked the name, Bogdan, and that will probably be your name when
Ethan, Filed under WTF?, Pregnancy, Preparing for Yoda

Virtual Insanity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JkIs37a2JE   I read a recent article on slate.com, regarding how one woman plans to never post anything about her child online ever. EVER. If you've followed his blog recently, you know about my struggle to even post Yoda's picture for fear of public reaction, due to Ethan.  But never posting anything about Yoda...ever? Hmm...that seems to be a bit harsh. It also seems ridiculously unrealistic. I should probably explain my stance before
Cerclage, Ethan, Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss

Against All Odds

http://youtu.be/wuvtoyVi7vY It gets easier.  It gets better. But does it really? Those are things I've said to myself. Those are things I've said to others. But I wonder...does grieving over your pregnancy, your child...does it ever get easier? Does it ever get better? This December, it'll be two years since Ethan went to Heaven and it sometimes feels it just happened yesterday. I often wonder what his personality would've been like. Would he have