I should be planning a birthday party. I should make sure the cake is made just right. It might be Paw Patrol one. It might be Thomas & Friends. I should have the numerous gifts picked out because although Christmas was just a short time ago, a birthday only comes once a year.
I should have local Mom friends who I regularly meet for coffee because we met at the
Category: Ethan
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRIbf6JqkNc&w=420&h=315]
It gets better but it's still pretty shitty.
For those new to the blog, I'll share this with you: over four years ago, I lost my firstborn, Ethan, due to incompetent/insufficient cervix. That means, my cervix shortened before term and since Ethan was just a few days short of viability, he couldn't be saved. He lived two hours and peacefully died in my arms with my husband nearby. That
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xulTcdtf4eU&w=420&h=315]
Questioning my faith.
I think every religious and spiritual person questions their faith and what they believe in. It happens. You think you believe something until a moment makes you question everything you've ever known. Sometimes it makes people do away with religion altogether, sometimes it makes people change religions, sometimes it makes others become more secure in their beliefs.
I'm starting to wonder if I was told a lie
My Dearest Ethan,
Not a day that goes by when I don’t think about you. You were originally scheduled to arrive in April 2012 but you made your appearance on December 13, 2011. It was the most wonderful two hours of my life and I will forever cherish your birthday.
I often wonder what type of toddler you would be right now. Would you be like your little brother who is
October marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Over the course of this month, I'll feature a series of posts dedicated to this month. It's a bittersweet month for me. Sweet because it's my birthday month, bitter because I'm reminded of my lost babies (not that I ever forget them).
Pregnancy and infant loss is a taboo subject because let's face it, no one likes to talk or think about
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ1COZaRx48&w=420&h=315]
Does it ever get better?
As tomorrow is the first official day of fall (today, if you're reading this on September 23rd), I'm always reminded of four years ago. You see, right around this time, I was newly pregnant with Ethan. I was about seven weeks, I believe. I belonged to an April 2012 moms board, a board I'm still active on. The ladies were talking about their pregnancies
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfmTq2B31tE&w=420&h=315]
I know I've been slacking on my Throwback posts but I promise to make them up to y'all.
Here's an oldie but goodie:
This was taken, I believe Labor Day weekend 2011. We went up to Santa Barbara for the day and came home. Come to think of it, we need to do that more often. I was about 6 weeks pregnant with Ethan in this pic. I don't know
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXxRyNvTPr8&w=420&h=315]
I have a small collection of tats on my body. When I say small, I mean three. Yeah, small. The goal is to eventually have a sleeve on my right arm. Not sure if I'm getting one on my left but for certain, my right.
We went to the Hello Kitty Convention last year and I had an opportunity to get a free Hello Kitty tattoo. Unfortunately, I was
http://youtu.be/KWhMyOs0pCQ
School has officially started, pretty much across America. A lot of kids are either returning to their schools, starting a brand-new one, or entering the final year at the one they’re at. A very exciting time. I remember being excited it was my last year in fifth, eighth, twelfth years and my senior year at college.
Earlier, one of my April moms posted a picture of her daughter leaving for
http://youtu.be/ojdbDYahiCQ
Lately, the topic of posting pictures of deceased babies on social media has gained a bit of traction. There seems to be two sides - those who believe the parents have every right to post whatever they want, honoring their child and those who believe something so private shouldn't be posted on any type of social media.
It all stems from this recent news story. *WARNING: there are graphic images