October marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Over the course of this month, I'll feature a series of posts dedicated to this month. It's a bittersweet month for me. Sweet because it's my birthday month, bitter because I'm reminded of my lost babies (not that I ever forget them).
Pregnancy and infant loss is a taboo subject because let's face it, no one likes to talk or think about
Tag: incompetent cervix
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ1COZaRx48&w=420&h=315]
Does it ever get better?
As tomorrow is the first official day of fall (today, if you're reading this on September 23rd), I'm always reminded of four years ago. You see, right around this time, I was newly pregnant with Ethan. I was about seven weeks, I believe. I belonged to an April 2012 moms board, a board I'm still active on. The ladies were talking about their pregnancies
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz4YQZ01Q_A&w=420&h=315]
Registering the second time around isn't that exciting.
Let's get something clear - I'm not pregnant, at least not yet. This is the first official cycle of trying and I'm currently on CD 6. I won't ovulate for another week or so. I do feel surprisingly confident this time around. I don't know if it's the meditation or false hope. I would like to believe I truly think I'll
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE1ED_9piMU&w=420&h=315]
There is something innately unnatural about burying a child. Like it really goes against God's plan and all laws of nature.
This Friday marks the second angelversary of Ethan going to heaven. I can vividly recall that entire day - going into labor at 2:30 in the morning, and fighting the labor the entire day until 5:30 that night when Ethan appeared on his own. It was then I learned
Cerclage, Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda
Scream
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P4A1K4lXDo&w=420&h=315]
This kid is stubborn.
So it's been almost two weeks since my cerclage was removed and well, I'm still very much pregnant. It wasn't too bad except for when I suddenly fell sick. I didn't think it was a big deal but apparently my OB did. I saw him today and he checked me. The good news: Yoda is still locked and loaded. The bad news: He's not low enough
Cerclage, Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda
Superwoman
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AphKUK8twg&w=420&h=315]
I'm sure I used that title before.
Today I had my cerclage removed. It was an eventful day. Let's count the struggles...
My MFM's office usually calls the day before an appointment to confirm. I didn't get receive a call yesterday but I didn't pay too much attention to it and just thought it was an oversight. Heh. Note to everyone - if a doctor's office usually calls to remind you
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSLGFL3Xa30&w=420&h=315]
Tomorrow is the big day.
The day I get my cerclage removed.
It's cray-cray to think that back in May, I posted about how nervous I was to get the cerclage implanted. Then I posted about how my recovery was going. Now I'm posting on the eve of its removal.
I never thought I would make it this far. Not that I was expecting the same thing that happened to Ethan to
Cerclage, Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy, Pregnant After a Late Loss, Pregnant After a Loss, Preparing for Yoda
Technologic
http://youtu.be/UoPplpBPQxQ
We saw our MFM this past Friday. I also received another NST. Yoda bear is doing fabulous and great! We got a great pic of him when he wasn't trying to cover his face with an arm. He officially has Mommy's lips. Oh dear. My son is going to be a heartbreaker. I need to get out the shovels and shotguns. Forget daddies being protective of their little girls;
http://youtu.be/wuvtoyVi7vY
It gets easier.
It gets better.
But does it really?
Those are things I've said to myself. Those are things I've said to others. But I wonder...does grieving over your pregnancy, your child...does it ever get easier? Does it ever get better?
This December, it'll be two years since Ethan went to Heaven and it sometimes feels it just happened yesterday. I often wonder what his personality would've been like. Would he have
http://youtu.be/FQ3slUz7Jo8
So much has happened since I last checked in! Lots and lots of great news!
First things first - the major news: surpassing Ethan's gestation loss and reaching viability. To be honest, I never thought I would see those two milestones. It's huge. Reaching and surpassing Ethan's lost was very emotional. Reaching viability was equally emotional. This pregnancy finally feels real. I'm going to be a Mommy! M is going