Moving On, Letting Go

Whenever I buy a car, it’s always a car that I love. Not a car that I just like. Not a car that’s okay. I have to be in love with the car. I don’t change cars often and when once I do get them, I tend to keep that car for a while.

Let me explain…the last time I purchased a car was back in 2006 and it was a Toyota Matrix XR. It was fully-loaded with all of the bells and whistles. It was a small car but had plenty of room inside. I loved that car. I still love that car.

I have a bit of trouble letting go of that car.

I haven’t personally driven the Matrix in well over five years, though it has been driven since then by others not me. While the car does need some TLC, the reason for me not driving it is a personal one: the last time I drove it, I was pregnant with Ethan.

When Bear arrived, we had every intention of getting the car fixed so we could drive Bear around town. Well, life happened. Fixing the car was no longer a priority. We decided to test drive some cars by renting some SUVs we were interested in and even a mini-van.

But we always kept the little car.

You see, the Matrix is much more than just my first major purchase. Maks and I dated in that car. We drove to the courthouse for our wedding in that car. We picked up Sushi from the shelter in that car. We found out we were having Ethan in that car. We drove to the mortuary for Ethan in that car.

It’s much more than just a car. It was everything.

And now we have to say goodbye to the everything.

Cleaning out the Matrix was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I kept some stuff in it but it wasn’t trash nor was it kept unkempt inside. It was just all of the memories, good and bad. Bear never rode in the Matrix so he would never know about the memories we had in it. His first memories are with the Sorento and for some strange reason, I’m actually okay with that.

Right now, we’re still deciding what we’re going to do with the car. Maks wants me to donate it while I’m contemplating fixing it up a little and selling it (not for very much and I’ll actually take a loss but the car is still in relatively good condition). We’ll see.

Here is a picture of the new family car, a 2017 fully-loaded Kia Sorento we named Champagne. Her color reminds us of champagne, plus, I love to drink it so hey, win-win.


We plan to do a vlog highlighting the new car and all of its safety features. Of course, the car was purchased with Bear in mind so he’ll be the star of it.


And we’ll also review a new toddler booster seat for Bear.


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