Beautiful Boy


Dear Bear,

I don’t know where you’ll be in your life when you read this. You might be going to college. You might be graduating from college. You might be on your wedding day. You might have experienced the birth of your first child. You might have scored you first big contract. You might have lost everything and wonder why you even bothered to begin with. That’s the beauty about the future; I don’t know what it holds but I’m excited about all of the possibilities.

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Right now as I write this, it’s Summer 2015. It’s August 11. Right now, I’m watching you pull each CD down, one by one, and you have a little method to your madness. On the TV, is the Sesame Street episode, Proud to Be Me. Daddy’s currently at work and I hope to put you down for a nap soon.You’re running around the house, trying to get into everything. You’re currently messing with something you shouldn’t be and I’m just watching you. I’m not mad nor am I irritated. I’m just wondering what’s in your thought process. I always wonder that.

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This is a letter to tell you how much I love you and how thankful I am you’ve brought so much joy to my life. It hasn’t been easy for your Mommy and while some of it was due to circumstance, some of it was also due to choice. I’ve made some poor choices; I’ve made some really kick-ass ones. But I don’t have any regrets.

There will be times where I’m going to be wrong and you’ll be right. There will be times where I’ll be right and you’ll wish you listened to me in the first place. There will be times where you’ll be embarrassed by me. There will be times you’ll think I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. There will be times you will just hate me. There will be times you wouldn’t know what you’re going to do without me. But I hope you know, no matter what we go through, no matter what you go through, I’ll always be there for you and you’ll always have a home to come to.

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I wonder what you’ll be when you grow up. I wonder if you’ll be more successful than me and your father. But never doubt, we’ll support you no matter what.

I hope you find a love like I did with your father, who is loving and very supportive of me. I hope whoever you find will love you unconditionally and with so much love, your heart will burst with joy. I hope, if you decide to have children, to raise them right and love them in the same way we’ve loved you.

I wish you peace, love, and blessings. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you.

Love always,

Mommy.

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