Show You the Way to Go

One thing I’ve come to realize is that when you’re pregnant after a (late) loss, people tend to forget that you went through childbirth with the previous pregnancy, if you were fortunate to experience such agony. Already, the comments of what I should expect are coming in from friends.

Fact: I went through 13 hours of natural labor with Ethan, before I received an epidural. I know what childbirth feels like. I’m well aware of it. 

Still, that fact hasn’t stopped my friends from “letting me know” and “preparing me”. Even when I told one friend that I didn’t want no more than five people in the delivery room, she quickly informed me that wasn’t going to be an option and I’ll have up to 10 people in there.

Or…I can specifically request not to have any more than five people in the delivery room, which is me, M., my OB, and two nurses. 🙂

I think with so many of my friends being mothers, they tend to confuse being an expert with just giving advice. Just because you had an awful experience, it doesn’t mean that’ll apply to me. Just because you had the cast of ER, minus a smokin’ hot George Clooney, in your L&D room, it doesn’t mean that’ll apply to me. Labor and delivery practices change all the time and many of my friends haven’t given birth recently. Their information, in all due respect, is a little dated.

Last week, I spoke to my OB about my potential delivery. He informed me there are pretty much four scenarios that will dictate my hospital stay:

  • An uncomplicated vaginal birth, resulting in a two-day stay.
  • A complicated vaginal birth, resulting in a three-day stay.
  • An uncomplicated cesarean, resulting in a three-day stay.
  • A complicated cesarean, resulting in a five-day stay.

For all intents and purposes, we’re shooting for option one.

Though, I will admit, I’m not entirely against having a c-section. My attitude is if it needs to be done, so be it. I’m not in the elective c-section camp and I understand it’s major surgery. When you’ve had a prior loss, it’s pretty amazing what you won’t find a big deal with the next pregnancy. Your only focus is to get that baby out and alive.

I’ve been watching a lot of natural childbirth videos on youtube recently. I’m in awe by the strength of those women. At first they freaked me out. Why in the hell would anyone want to go through childbirth naturally, for Pete’s sake? But there’s something empowering of being control of your body and your health options. It’s quite beautiful.

Or comical. 🙂

I haven’t decided what my stance is. I know I don’t like drugs and I don’t like how my body responds to drugs. My body responds to drugs very, very well and I do not like the idea of not having any movement in my legs. Still, if the labor pain becomes too unbearable, I will request an epidural. The plan is to labor at home as much as possible before I go to the hospital. I don’t want to get there and I’m just chillin’ for a few hours without anything to eat or drink. And I really do not want Pitocin to kickstart a damn thing. 


Tomorrow I go for my first NST (non-stress test) to monitor how Yoda is doing and my overall health. I’ll be in the room for an additional 30 minutes after I’ve already been waiting in the office for an hour. Not looking forward to it. It seems every pregnant woman that sees my MFM schedules her appointments on Fridays, the only day we can see him because that’s when M is off work. And not only do those pregnant women schedule their appointments on Fridays, they bring their kids! Their badass, godforsaken, Bebe’s kids! Thank goodness for iPads and iPods or I would be in hell.


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