So Appalled


I’m part of a November Moms 2013 group on Facebook. It’s a secret and many of the mothers-to-be there know my story with Ethan and this pregnancy. While I do keep them up-to-date with my progress, I also limit how much I tell them. One, I’m a little uncomfortable discussing my IC when none of them have it. I’m all for bringing awareness to IC and the treatment I’m undergoing for it, but sometimes I rather not. I’m only a woman going through this; I’m not an expert. Two, I rather not be the center of attention for pretty much the above reasons. There’s only 23 members in the group so it’s very close-knit.

A while back, I was explaining my IC and I recommended a couple of other IC groups I’m a part of. Two of the other ladies joined the groups I’m in. No big deal. I’m not sure if one of the ladies truly has IC or if she’s just researching for a friend. That, I’m not too concerned with. The other lady, however, caused all sorts of red flags to be raised.

I told M I had a feeling she was either faking her pregnancy or faking IC. I just had a weird feeling about her. Whenever she mentioned her IC issues and I asked her a question regarding them, she would completely ignore me. We have no beef so I don’t know why she would ignore me. Then she would post interesting things about her pregnancy. She mentioned how she was contracting and her doctors weren’t really doing anything about it. She mentioned how her cervix shortened down to 1.8 (which is very, very dangerous to be mid-pregnancy and would require either strict bed rest or hospital bed rest) and her doctors didn’t seem too alarmed with it. It was when she posted that her cervix shortened down to 0.6 and her doctor sent her home, that made me go, ‘Oh, you’re full of shit.’



I realize doctors in different areas operate differently. I’m not debating that. I am debating why any doctor would send a woman in the middle of her second trimester home when she’s in danger of losing her pregnancy. And then…and you’re going to love this…keep having her to come back to the doctor’s office every couple of days to check her cervix. Well, wouldn’t the easier solution just be put her on hospital bed rest? Not to mention sometimes when she posts in the IC group, she doesn’t respond to the questions and inquiries from other members, but she will gladly post on her own page or the November moms group. I have my reasons to be suspicious.

So I’ve been avoiding this chick for a minute just because I’m not sure how to approach the situation with her. Each time I think she’s being honest about her situation and I’m just blowing it out of proportion, she’ll post something that’ll make go, ‘Okay, so you are full of shit.’ Case in point, this morning. I logged onto Facebook and I saw a post she made in one of the IC groups. She complained how she was tired of being in the hospital and wanted to go home and asked if anyone thought the doctors would let her go home and just give her the medication there.




Now, I have more than a few issues with her post. One, if you’re on hospital bed rest, it’s mainly to keep you pregnant. It serves no other purpose than that. I’m sure any woman who had a late-term loss would have welcomed the idea of hospital bed rest if it meant she would stay pregnant longer and the baby had another day at life. When I saw that chick’s post, I immediately logged off Facebook. Like, for real? Your complaint is about being on hospital bed rest and you want to go home? Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just I’m feeling all sorts of emotional since I’m approaching the gestation week where we lost Ethan. But if I was in her position, my only concern would be staying pregnant. Damn the hospital bed rest. What do I have to do to stay pregnant? 

Do I like being on modified bed rest? Hell no! I hate the idea that I’m pretty much confined to  home and that’s it. I had to give up seeing Beyonce, NKOTB (don’t judge me), and Miguel this summer because I can’t go see them. Even though I got clearance to drive, I was also instructed not to do too much of it (or drive if I have to, not because I want to). And seeing my family and friends, some 120 miles away in my hometown of Palm Springs? Forget it! If they want to see me, they’re coming up here to L.A.

I’m pretty sure I would loathe being on hospital bed rest as well. Staying still and only getting up to shower and maybe using the bathroom, doesn’t sound like a good time. But I also made a vow that I would do whatever it takes to stay pregnant and keep Yoda baking and if it comes down to me being on hospital bed rest, well, I’ll be on hospital bed rest. I’m about to get progesterone shots in a couple weeks and every research  I’ve done on the shots tells me it’s going to hurt like a SOB. But it will help prevent pre-term labor so guess what? I need to get over my fear of needles and suck it up.

Because I went through being in labor, getting a magnesium drip that didn’t work, giving birth, and watching my son die in my arms, I really have no respect or tolerance for those who don’t understand the seriousness of their situation. That chick mentioned about a week ago how she was devastated at the thought of giving birth and having the baby die shortly afterward. Well, bitch, keep your ass in the hospital! The fuck is your problem? If you’re that concerned about your baby, act like it. Be about it.

Rant over. If that chick’s story is true, I hope she will soon come to her senses and realizes how selfish she’s acting before it’s too late. The worst pain any mother can go through is burying their child and I hope she doesn’t have to experience what I live with every single day of my life.


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