A Letter to my Younger Self

may2009

Dear Younger Crys,

Your life won’t be peaches and cream. Tbh, it’s not now but it really won’t be in several years. I don’t mean to scare you when I say that. You’ll have some heartbreak so hurtful, you’ll be amazed you even got out of bed. You’ll have triumphs so amazing, you’ll be surprisingly humble about it all.

Here some bullet points you should consider:

The guy you’ll marry won’t be a CEO, a rapper, or a guy who has street cred. In fact, he’ll be one of the biggest nerds you’ll ever met and you know what? He’ll be your soulmate. He’ll understand your faults, embraces your strengths, and be your biggest cheerleader when you feel the world is against you. Keep him. He’s good people.

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You’ll be fascinated by social media for a brief period before you realize there’s more to life than liking photos and posting funny things all day. In fact, as you approach 40, you’ll realize how much of a time-waster it really is.

You’re going to have several miscarriages, and one of those losses will be so heartbreaking, you think you won’t be able to withstand it. You do and persevere. Ethan’s loss will make you realize how precious life is and how it all can be taken away from you in a second. He’ll also make you fully enjoy his little brother, Bogdan, when he’s born.  

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Your dream job won’t be in a courtroom or handling legal briefs, though you will temporarily work for lawyers. Your dream job will be writing and you’ll love every moment of it. Despite the naysayers, despite the haters, despite people telling you there’s no profit in writing, you’ll do it and you’ll be very successful at it. Don’t give up.

You can read people very well and often see through their bullshit. Love them, anyway. There will be those who will make up excuses for their behavior, knowing they’re in the wrong. You know they’re full of it but you’re classy and won’t humiliate or degrade them. You also don’t have to honor them with your presence any longer. If they can’t respect you enough to be honest, they don’t deserve your presence. You can love them from afar.

Save as much money as you can and put them in accounts you don’t have easy access to. Trust me on this one, girlfriend. Your liquid accounts will often look like crap, but your investment accounts – the ones that really matter – will look very, very nice.

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Your clean house won’t be so clean anymore once the kids come, but it’ll be a livable mess. You’ll take care of the major things – sweeping, moping, vacuuming, and scrubbing the bathrooms – but there will be a pile of loose papers that you’ll ignore because well, you’re living life. But eventually you’ll take care of them.

You’ll become a glorified housewife and you’ll have no desire to go back to work ever again. A far cry from your original dream of becoming a judge. And you know what? You’ll be perfectly happy with that. Sometimes life will throw a curveball you didn’t see coming and not all curveballs are bad. In fact, some of them will show you a strength you didn’t know you had.

This all might sound foreign and scary, and trust, it is. But despite the painful setbacks, your comebacks are legendary. And you will continue to amaze and inspire yourself.

Your Biggest Fan,

Older Crys

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