The Thrill is Gone

The excitement is kinda gone.

It’s been so long since we’ve TTC’d that I truly forgot how emotionally exhausting it is.

Last cycle was a blow to us since we thought it was going to be our month. Even my pregnancy tests were, I feel, inconclusive. Not stark white negative but something was kinda there almost positive. As we all know, almost doesn’t count.

So here we are, gearing up for month #3 in our TTC Another Rainbow efforts. I just had a birthday so the goal of me getting pregnant before my birthday is no longer there. I did have another goal of getting pregnant before Christmas but I decided making ‘getting pregnant’ goals is really fruitless. I can’t determine when I’ll get pregnant. I can only determine the if.

Still, I’m in my third cycle of a six-month TTC period. My real medical deadline is actually next February 2016 so I would need to be pregnant by then before we undergo medical intervention.

I guess I just need encouragement. Feeling not too excited. I think the fact I’m about to see my very fertile (and one of my biggest supporters) cousin in a few weeks is also not making too happy (she’s currently pregnant with twins and they will make four under four for her and her husband).

Bah, humbug.


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