You Haven’t Done Nothin’

I need a clone.

Or I need more hours during the day.

I’m still trying to figure out my schedule but the problem is it keeps changing. I think, when I worked full-time, I knew the beginning and end of my day so I was used to continuity. Even when I was pregnant with Bo last year, I had an idea of when he’ll kick in the morning, when he’ll kick again in the afternoon, and how long he’ll kick for when I was trying to sleep.

One of my friends gave me some advice a couple of years ago when I was pregnant with Ethan – make a long, detailed list of what I want to do and when I was about to get ready to start the first item on that list, to tear it to shreds. That’s exactly how being a parent is.

I have to say, there’s a lot of truth to that.

Bo is now 3 1/2 months old. I finally got him some health insurance – his own! Yep, Bo has his own health insurance. I went with Blue Shield just because that’s what I have until I research more. I also need to research term life insurance, trust funds, 529 accounts,  and blah blah blah.

I love how much I like to plan ahead but I also can’t stand how much I plan ahead. I swear I drive myself crazy sometimes.

Emotionally, I’m doing better. I think I’m slowly mourning my old life and how much freedom I had. Don’t get me wrong; I love taking Bo with me where ever I go and he loves being outside. But I do miss just doing whatever and I have to admit, it was pretty nice.

Soon, I’m going to meet up with local moms and have playdates. Since Bo is about to get his vaccines, I’ll feel more comfortable when he meets others once he has his shots. I’m not stating this to start a pro- or anti-vaccination debate. If you’re pro-vaccination, good for you. If you’re anti-vaccination, good for you. I just want to make sure my Bo bear has his shots before we venture more out into public places.

One of our neighbors offered to be a babysitter for Bo whenever we want to have a date night and we’re going to take her on her generous offer. She’s not expecting any payment but we’ll pay her anyway just for her time and consideration. It was really nice she’d offered. Bo’s paternal grandparents still haven’t. (You wanna hear something really interesting – Bo’s paternal grandmother still hasn’t met him, despite she’s 10 miles away. Yeah. She’s perfectly healthy, in case you’re wondering.) In fact, they recently admitted they don’t feel the need to see Bo in person since they can see pictures of him. 

On a scale of 1-10, how pissed off do you think I was when I heard that? Just take a wild guess.

Of course, my reaction is if they’re content with seeing pictures of Bo, why do they need to see him in person? Since I’ll be working a lot more this year, I won’t be attending family functions with M.’s family, which means neither will Bo. Let’s see how quick they’ll change their tune once we sit out the first few functions.

I have to admit, I’m a little surprised by the reaction of both sets of grandparents. In all fairness, my parents aren’t any better and they live over 100 miles away. (When they visit L.A., they always make an excuse why they can’t stop by to see us.) I just thought, for some strange reason, because of the devastation of Ethan, both sets of grandparents would be a little more gung-ho in seeing their newest grandchild. I’m really starting to think the sympathy and “hurt” they’d exhibited when Ethan died was just for show and to make people feel sorry for them and not necessarily for our benefit. 

Grief is funny like that. People who cared about you before, will step up to the plate. People who didn’t care, will slowly dissipate from your life. I’m just curious on what story I’m going to tell Bo about how his grandparents behaved when he gets older.

I’ll end this post with a fun picture of Bo when he turned 3 months on Valentine’s Day. He’s going to be a ladykiller when he gets older.



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