Okay, that title is being hella dramatic but bear with me here.
I get iffy about Mother's Day. I still have a mother here and I'm one myself. But I always feel there's someone missing. For those new to my blog, I lost our first son, Ethan, several years ago due to incompetent cervix and subsequent premature birth. He lived for two hours.
Ever since his untimely passing, I feel a
Tag: premature birth
The build-up to his birthday is always the hardest. This year has been incredibly difficult because having a preschooler is one more reminder of what could've been and what currently isn't. I know it may sound weird and I don't sound like I'm grateful for Bear, but I am. I thank God every day for Bear. But I also wish Bear had his big brother.
The pain of losing a
[caption id="attachment_1210" align="alignnone" width="2304"] First Mother's Day with Bear.[/caption]
Over the last two weeks, I've been bombarded with Mother's Day as I'm sure the rest of the country, if not world. Mother's Day sale here. Mother's Day deals there. Mother's Day in my inbox. Mother's Day when I turn on the TV.
Mother's Day. Mother's Day. Mother's Day. (For a surprising history of lesson of how it got started, click here.)
I
My Dearest Ethan,
Not a day that goes by when I don’t think about you. You were originally scheduled to arrive in April 2012 but you made your appearance on December 13, 2011. It was the most wonderful two hours of my life and I will forever cherish your birthday.
I often wonder what type of toddler you would be right now. Would you be like your little brother who is
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ1COZaRx48&w=420&h=315]
Does it ever get better?
As tomorrow is the first official day of fall (today, if you're reading this on September 23rd), I'm always reminded of four years ago. You see, right around this time, I was newly pregnant with Ethan. I was about seven weeks, I believe. I belonged to an April 2012 moms board, a board I'm still active on. The ladies were talking about their pregnancies