Ethan, Meet the Blussians

Happy Birthday, angel

Celebrating Ethan this year was different. I didn't cry as much as I used to (I'll get to that in a minute)It s, but the impact of his loss was still the same. After putting it off for so long, I finally decided next year, I'm going to get Ethan his grave marker. You're probably wondering why so long since it's been several years (seven to be exact). Well, a
Meet the Blussians

What It’s Really Like To Survive The Death of Your Baby

Weird. That's really all I can muster. It's weird. Not a bad weird. Definitely not a good weird. Not weird. There's a hole within you that will never close. Sometimes it gets bigger and overwhelming. Sometimes it returns back to size. But it never closes. It never heals. It's just kinda...there. I lost Ethan seven years ago and I had Bear five years ago. I still feel someone, something is missing from
Ethan, Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness

One Sweet Day

It's weird knowing six years ago, I gave birth to one of the most beautiful children I'd ever seen. It's equally weird that I buried him just days later. Ethan, had I carried him to term, would've been five this year. He would've entered kindergarten. As other April 2012 mothers celebrated and posted pictures of their kids' first day in kindergarten, I wondered what could've been. You see, it's different with
Ethan

Why Picking Out Your Son's Grave Marker Really Sucks

Ethan died five years ago and this is something most people who follow me know. I haven't been shy in my grief, and I make it a point to let everyone know I had a son before Bear. What a lot of people don't know is that we haven't purchased a grave marker for Ethan. It's complicated. It really has nothing to do with money nor time. It's the finality of