Tag: late pregnancy loss

Ethan

Ethan’s 9th Heavenly Birthday

Every year, it seems the time Ethan was on Earth becomes a distant memory. Yet, every year, I'm constantly reminded of what isn't and what could've been. It's a weird conundrum. I want to remember everything about my son, but I also don't want to remember the hurt and pain of it all. And it sucks. I'm not going to lie and say it's been an easy road. The
Ethan, Meet the Blussians

Happy Birthday, angel

Celebrating Ethan this year was different. I didn't cry as much as I used to (I'll get to that in a minute)It s, but the impact of his loss was still the same. After putting it off for so long, I finally decided next year, I'm going to get Ethan his grave marker. You're probably wondering why so long since it's been several years (seven to be exact). Well, a
Meet the Blussians

What It’s Really Like To Survive The Death of Your Baby

Weird. That's really all I can muster. It's weird. Not a bad weird. Definitely not a good weird. Not weird. There's a hole within you that will never close. Sometimes it gets bigger and overwhelming. Sometimes it returns back to size. But it never closes. It never heals. It's just kinda...there. I lost Ethan seven years ago and I had Bear five years ago. I still feel someone, something is missing from
Meet the Blussians, Mommy Commentary

Why I Decided To Risk It All and Treat Myself

Okay, that title is being hella dramatic but bear with me here. I get iffy about Mother's Day. I still have a mother here and I'm one myself. But I always feel there's someone missing. For those new to my blog, I lost our first son, Ethan, several years ago due to incompetent cervix and subsequent premature birth. He lived for two hours. Ever since his untimely passing, I feel a