And so it begins…

After one year of trying, taking a break, trying again, doing away with the tempting and just said, ‘eff it’, I’m pregnant!

A little background on me: I’m foxxy. You can call me foxxy. I started my TTC journey in December 2010. We suffered a miscarriage in April 2011 and fell pregnant again in July 2011. Our son, Ethan, was born prematurely at 22 weeks gestation on December 13, 2011 due to insufficient/incompetent cervix.

While we mourned the lost of our son, we always wanted to try again. It was very tough seeing everyone around us getting pregnant and expanding their families when we were still struggling. A lot of anger, a lot of resentment, and a lot of sadness filled out hearts. On the same token, a lot of prayer surrounded us. We knew we would be parents to a rainbow baby somehow and someday.

I discovered I was pregnant last week around 3w3d. The line was so faint, I wasn’t sure if I was looking at what I was looking at. I test again the following Friday morning with first morning urine (FMU) and again, another faint line. I figured I was seeing things and that my period would come. (This is how I was prepared for my period: I bought beer, wine, maxi pads, and disposable heating pads over the weekend).

I woke up Monday morning – the day of my expected period – and found I was pregnant. I even tested with four different brands to make sure there wasn’t a mistake. But the digital reading was all the hardcore evidence I needed. Now I’m just taking it easy, enjoying the pregnancy until my first prenatal appointment on – get this – April’s Fool Day.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous and apprehensive. I’ve had an early loss and a late loss. I don’t think I’ll be completely comfortable with this pregnancy until the baby is at home in my arms. However, I’m more confident about this pregnancy than my last ones. I don’t know why I am, I just am.

This blog is going to be a journey of my ups and downs, my highs and lows.


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